The word Anxiety has so many meanings, feelings and side effects. dictionary.com tells us this is the definition:
Very true. Reading that seems to down play how extreme some of us actually feel. If we didn’t have the flight or fight anxiety in us, we would be in a dangerous kind of living. On the other very far side of this awful scale reading this definition doesn’t sound as scary as it really feels.
Having extreme anxiety can really ruin your life in so many ways, relationships, jobs, everyday life and the biggest of all it can destroy your own self. I have struggled for years not knowing that I was not only suffering with depression but extreme General and Social Anxiety Disorder. I personally don’t like to call all of this mental illness or disorders. For me personally it just makes me feel panicked and feel even shittier about myself. That is just my thinking.
I don’t know about you but I always think everything doesn’t happen for a reason but everything that does happen helps mold us into who we are. I have always been told our childhood plays a huge part on how we grow as adults and that really used to terrify me thinking of every event that had let up to how I am today. So when I finally found the right doctor to help me with my depression, everything clicked. Anxiety made sense in a way and I knew those feelings from depression were more intense and extreme then just what doctors had told me in the past with having depression. Being diagnosed with anything that isn’t black and white answers is so hard and can take so many years to figure it out.
There is an upside of our scary anxiety journeys and I hope I can help in little ways.
You know when you meet a person who has gone to school and knows everything inside and out and can tell you so much, teach you so much but has never actually felt it?
Or when you have met someone who has lived through everything and can teach you and guide you in ways better since they know first hand how hard things really are?
I seem to connect better with the second type helping me better than the first kind.
How about you?
I had gone to therapy on and off for years but went through a few different psychologists before I found the one for me, honestly it took years to REALLY find the right one and she had sadly gone through some similar things as myself. It really sucks to hear that coming from anyone who is kind but it made more sense for myself to be able to work through my negative experiences and keep moving forward.
So I am here to help share my struggles, my journey and hopefully can help at least one person by these posts. I always wanted someone to help me or to be able to connect enough with someone to know I wasn’t alone as I see so many people with anxiety or depression that function so well, and I would ask “HOW do they do it?!”. I find since everyone is so different not all methods will work with everyone.
I want to call this “Second by Second”. Sometimes Day by day is ok, but when you are in that dark scary place it really is second by second.
So here we start.
The “Brain Dump” most therapist I have worked with liked to start this as a daily, or weekly activity, I couldn’t agree more. Just GET IT OUT! Write it down, it will be a complete mess but it will make you feel a TINY bit better, if not a little better.
If anyone is feeling brave, myself included (no names needed, let’s post our print outs and I have some fun ideas I hope we can do together as we get going in our journey. It’s nice to have a group sometimes rather then just alone….what do you guys think?